Wednesday, 2 January 2013

On... good bad songs

I have a long history of loving good bad songs. I'm not ashamed of it. I truly do love them. I learn all the lyrics. I put them to the top of my iPod playlists. I have special dancemoves for them that involve a lot of miming and shimmying and frowning-head-bobbing. 

The other day I began singing this song, and all I can remember is that it’s from about 2002, the guy’s name is Lemar, and I think he won some kind of talent show like Pop Idol. Fuck, I loved this song. This song is SO forgotten that there doesn't even seem to be a YouTube video for it. 



Note the extremely short use of a voice equalizer on ONE WORD. Wow, that is some cheap-ass production values right there. 


 I loved this song too. I actually loved the entire album.

Loving Paris Hilton songs means having conversations like this with Chris, my lovely then-art director who is truly into music and used to be in a band and everything: 

Me:    This is the best song. 

Chris: No, it’s really not. 

Me:    Paris Hilton is really talented. 

Chris: No, she isn't. 

Me:    Watch, I can do a Paris face. Don’t I look like Paris when   I do this face?

Chris: No, you don’t. 

(Chris and I found common ground with early 80s new wave music, and this was our Friday song, but it is a really genuinely good song and thus has no place in this post.) 

Loving Paris Hilton songs also means bobbing around the DJ box using a bendy straw as a Madonna microphone and trying to get the Djs attention to ask: 

Me: Hey, will you please please play Paris Hilton’s Stars Are Blind?

DJ: (incredulous pause) No. 

Me: (shouting) WHY NOT? 


Yeah. That’s right. I mean Abz from 5ive. Stop laughing! This is a great fucking song. I listened to it a lot when doing my early-20s elliptical trainer workouts. God, those workouts were boring. And pointless. Back to the point: turn it up and dorkdance your heart out. 


  1. I love stalking you. Any news on your next book?

    By the way, hope Errol is well. Poor baby xx

  2. Oh my god, I had totally forgotten that Abs song existed. It is BRILLIANT!

    But Paris???? No. Stop it Gemma...

  3. But... Paris Hilton in any format equals cruel and unusual punishment!